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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
Cover of Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
A Novel
An NPR Great Read: This novel about bipolar disorder and one man’s journey through the world is a “convincing portrait of mental illness” (Entertainment Weekly).
 
This tour-de-force novel takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd—a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter for a decade to travel the globe, finally giving free rein to the bipolar disorder he’s been forced to keep hidden for almost twenty years.
 
The story intricately weaves together three timelines—Greyson’s wanderings to Rome, to Israel, to Santiago, to Thailand, to Uganda; the progressive unraveling of his own father as seen through Greyson’s childhood memories; and the intricacies and estrangements of his marriage—all of which unfolds in a narrative spanning twelve thirty-second electroshock treatments in a New York psychiatric ward.
 
An NPR Great Read: This novel about bipolar disorder and one man’s journey through the world is a “convincing portrait of mental illness” (Entertainment Weekly).
 
This tour-de-force novel takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd—a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter for a decade to travel the globe, finally giving free rein to the bipolar disorder he’s been forced to keep hidden for almost twenty years.
 
The story intricately weaves together three timelines—Greyson’s wanderings to Rome, to Israel, to Santiago, to Thailand, to Uganda; the progressive unraveling of his own father as seen through Greyson’s childhood memories; and the intricacies and estrangements of his marriage—all of which unfolds in a narrative spanning twelve thirty-second electroshock treatments in a New York psychiatric ward.
 
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  • From the book

    Willing suspension of disbelief. That's what they call it in the movies. Like the story about how each procedure will be over in less than a minute. And how you won't feel a thing. How you may be foggy for a while, but in the end you'll be better. You'll be whole. I want that. So I suspend my disbelief. I let them hook me up. Willingly. And then they give me something. And when I close my eyes, I am neither asleep nor awake but rather suspended in the dark, somewhere between the two. Willingly suspended. Watching. I feel my eyelids being taped shut and hear the gentle hum of the electricity. I have no choice but to give in and let the story tell itself.

    Los Angeles 1984. California is a no-fault state. Nothing is ever anyone's fault. It just is. Day after day. Until it kills you.
    Automatic sprinkler clicks on at dusk. SssstChchchSssstChchch. Flattens Oak leaves--yellowy, brown-veined--against stiff green lawn.
    It is a warm September night when I leave my wife and eight-year-old daughter. I tell my wife I'm going out to the backyard to clean up the dog shit. It's the one chore I've never really minded. A couple of times a week, I use a long-handled yellow plastic pooper-scooper that came with an accessory--a narrow rake designed to help roll the turds into the scooper. I make my way systematically across the lawn in a zigzag pattern. The dogs, a couple of beautiful over-bred Irish setters who suffer from occasional bouts of mange, enthusiastically follow, sniffing as if hot on the trail of something other than their own crap. When the scooper gets full, I dump it into one of the black Rubbermaid garbage cans I keep in the garage. And when I'm done, I spray down my equipment with a fierce stream from the gun-like attachment I screw on to the green hose I use to top off the swimming pool. By the time I'm finished, the scooper is clean enough to eat off of.
    "Jesus Christ, Greyson," my wife, Ellen, yells out the kitchen window, "it would be a whole lot easier if you'd do that during the day when you could actually see the shit." This is something she yells out the kitchen window almost ritually. But I always do it at night. I like the challenge.
    Ellen accuses me of being antisocial. It's not true. My work as a studio executive demands a tremendous amount of social intercourse, the appearance of impeccable interpersonal skills, the ability to read the room better and faster than anyone, to negotiate every situation graciously and ruthlessly to my advantage.
    I can hardly breathe.
    I use the front door less and less these days. Want the ritual welcoming of the hunter/breadwinner less and less. Instead, most nights I let myself in through the little gate that leads to the backyard. I desperately need a solitary hour to catch myself by the scruff of the neck and stuff myself back inside that hollow glad-handing shell. He is all style and glitter and fast-talking charm. I cannot stand to be inside him when he does it. Now, the best I can do is stand next to him and watch.
    I used to love my job. Didn't even mind the commute. After a cool rain or a good stiff breeze, the sickly yellow mattress of smog that hangs cozily over the Valley dissolves briefly. You can inhale without tasting the cancer in the air. That used to be enough for me. I have made the studio a lot of money over the years. My personal compensation--bonuses, stock options, gross points, profit- sharing--has been more than fair. I can't remember when exactly it was that the phone calls, the meetings, the glad-handing that once provided such a rush ceased to be a source of pleasure. But through a combination of...

About the Author-
  • Juliann Garey has sold original screenplays and television pilots to Sony Pictures, NBC, CBS, Columbia TriStar Television and Lifetime TV. As a journalist she has edited and written for publications including Marie Claire, Glamour, More, Entertainment Weekly, ELLE, New York Magazine, The Los Angeles Times and The Huffington Post. She has received fellowships in fiction writing at The Virginia Center for the Creative Arts and The Vermont Studio Center. Garey is a graduate of Yale University and the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism. Too Bright To Hear Too Loud To See is her first novel.
Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    October 1, 2012
    In Garey’s debut novel, Greyson Todd is a high-flying movie executive who, in 1984, leaves his studio job and his wife and eight-year-old daughter, and embarks on a worldwide tour. Ten years later, he is in a New York hospital being treated for bipolar disorder—which he has struggled with for decades—and given electroshock treatment. In between, we get the story of Greyson’s conflicted marriage to Ellen, and his childhood with a failure for a father. As he travels around the world, Greyson hops from Rome to the Negev, Bangkok, Santiago, and Uganda, but his adventures seldom rise above the level of travelogue. Only when he finally lands in New York, where he settles down in Chelsea, and the author details the steps leading up to Greyson’s nervous breakdown, does the story become sufficiently dramatic. Otherwise, the achronological structure works against the narrative by not allowing the reader to chart the progress of Greyson’s mental illness. The author’s take on what it was like to be raised on the show business periphery of Beverly Hills in the late 1950s feels authentic. In the end, though, this earnest novel about depression breaks no new ground in its depiction of the subject. Agent: Paul Bresnick, the Paul Bresnick Agency.

  • Kirkus

    October 1, 2012
    Screenwriter Garey's no-nonsense debut about a man who struggles with bipolar disorder is gripping and straightforward. Greyson Todd is a financially successful and respected Hollywood studio executive who suffers from the same debilitating mental illness that once tortured his father. Recalling his mother's agony and the hatred he felt as he dealt with his father and his early life, Todd is terrified, with good reason, that he will suffer the same fate. One evening, he simply abandons his wife and 8-year-old daughter and begins a frenzied excursion that takes him to exotic locales around the world, where he indulges in erotic acts and self-gratifying excesses that frequently end in violence. He gets duped by Bedouins, roams sex bazaars in Thailand, impersonates a professor and marries the widow of an AIDs victim in Africa. Following one destructive episode, Todd acknowledges that he is his own personal tsunami, an apt description for the devastation he causes himself and others in his wake. And much like the irregular and illogical behavior that characterizes his illness, Todd's story is told in snippets and pieces that seem to represent his chaotic life: childhood memories of a father who could never hold a job for long and went on wild spending sprees, yet who tenderly encouraged his son; experiences during his travels; his time in a psychiatric ward undergoing electroshock therapy and the resultant memory lapses. Todd himself exhibits a cacophony of different reactions to his situations. At times he's repulsive, sympathetic, comical, tragic, witty, self-absorbed, kind and regretful. But thanks to Garey's accomplished narrative, no matter the emotions Todd's actions elicits from readers, his character is always interesting and real. Garey breathes life into an uncomfortable and often misunderstood subject and creates a riveting experience.

    COPYRIGHT(2012) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Library Journal

    July 1, 2012

    One of the publisher's featured galley giveaways at BEA, this debut by screenwriter/journalist Garey stars a big-time Hollywood executive suffering from a well-concealed bipolar disorder who dumps job, family, and meds to travel the world and finally be himself. The threefold plot embraces his travels, which range from Rome to Thailand to Uganda, to his memories of a difficult father and the joys and strains of his marriage. Billed as a literary page-turner.

    Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Booklist

    December 1, 2012
    In her debut, screenwriter Garey delivers a commanding portrait of a Hollywood studio executive who so tires of covering up his bipolar disorder that he abandons his lucrative career and his family, traveling the world for decades. Told in snippets and in nonlinear format, the story of Greyson Todd's spectacular flameout encompasses touring as a relic pilgrim in Rome, becoming the victim of a scam perpetrated by Bedouins, engaging in sexual escapades in Thailand, and entering into marriage with the widow of an AIDS victim in Africa. Through it all, Greyson is haunted by memories of his father, who also suffered from bipolar disorder and who went on extravagant spending sprees that decimated his family's finances. When Greyson finally ends up in a psychiatric ward in New York City, undergoing 12 sessions of electroshock treatments, he begins to lose some of his most cherished memories, especially those of the wife and daughter he abandoned, and yet the novel ends on a hopeful note as Greyson strives to achieve stability in his life. A vividly written chronicle of one man's attempt to conquer his mental illness.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2012, American Library Association.)

  • Publisher's Weekly

    March 25, 2013
    Hollywood studio executive Greyson Todd abandons his family and struggles to overcome his bipolar disorder in Garey’s novel, which spans three timelines: Todd’s past, his present, and his father’s past. As Todd makes the journey through a series of electroshock-therapy sessions, he traces the impact of his own unraveling. Narrator Dan Butler ably portrays Todd, brilliantly expressing the thoughts and emotions of this complex character. Butler captures Todd’s troubled mental state with simple vocal fluctuations. With excellent pacing and inflection, the narrator also skillfully builds tension throughout the audiobook. But while his rendition of Todd is compelling, his performance of many of the other characters lacks vocal distinction and depth. A Soho Press hardcover.

  • Library Journal

    Starred review from August 1, 2012

    Garey pulls no punches in her absorbing debut novel, a harrowing story of one man's descent into madness and his painful struggle to recover. Greyson Todd's sketchy memories tumble out in bits and pieces between electric shock treatments that leave him shaken and far from cured of his manic depression. His success as a Hollywood studio executive has taken its toll. The tools of his trade--lying, manipulation, negotiation--were skills that came naturally; he used them to survive growing up with a father consumed by his own precarious mental state. Greyson snaps under this constant pressure to pretend, leaves his family, and travels around the world, visiting sex clubs in Thailand and disease-ridden villages in Africa. Sometimes with acerbic tongue-in-cheek humor, sometimes with graphic language that expresses Greyson's bitterness and rage, the narrative unfolds along with his unhappy childhood memories. When the daughter he abandoned long ago visits him at the hospital, he doesn't remember her, but they forge a tentative truce. Greyson's goal now is to attain stability; actual happiness will be elusive. VERDICT Garey evokes in stark detail the torment and raw suffering of mental illness. A compelling read. [See Prepub Alert, 6/11/12.]--Donna Bettencourt, Mesa Cty. P.L., Grand Junction, CO

    Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Nancy Pearl

    "Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See is a brilliant first novel about love and madness, written with an assured grace."

  • Los Angeles Times "A fine, sharp-tongued debut. "Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See" is a novel deeply wrapped around its subject, but it has its sights on grander themes -- namely, how to survive in a world not made for you."
  • All Things Considered "[Greyson Todd] is interesting and complex...We are deftly led through his erratic trains of thought, and suddenly we are with him in the irrational, sometimes violent place, and oddly, we understand how we got there."
  • Meg Wolitzer, author of The Interestings "Juliann Garey, who has spoken openly about being bipolar herself, is a vivid and startling writer, and this novel shouldn't be relegated to the mental illness shelf unless it's also placed squarely in fiction and literature, where it will not only teach, it will shine."
  • Marie Claire "You won't be able to put down this exhilarating debut novel... brave and touching."
  • Boston Globe "Garey delivers a genuinely harrowing story that, against all odds, is deeply enjoyable."
  • Real Simple "A gripping tale of a man's unraveling."
  • Entertainment Weekly "[Garey's] tense, unsettling, and convincing portrait of mental illness...[makes] a dark novel glow."
  • The Millions "Greyson Todd is the most fully-realized fictional character I've come across in a while...Garey doesn't shy away from the depths of her character's pain, but scenes that could easily become gratuitous in lesser hands are rendered with restraint and grace. She excels at leading us down the rabbit hole...Garey creates an atmosphere of exquisite tension."
  • Huffington Post "Brilliantly captures the effects of electro-convulsive therapy...[Garey's] prose, with its mixture of the poetic and the profane, illuminates the psyche of a bipolar man, who seeks not a Hollywood ending but a restoration of the 'glimmer' of his faded past."
  • The A.V. Club "A visceral, sometimes hard-to-read look at the attempt to find happiness and stability when they can seem impossibly out of reach....Too Bright To Hear Too Loud To See personalizes an often-stigmatized mental illness, turning Greyson's struggles into something comprehensible and universal."
  • Boston Phoenix "[Garey] writes...with a jarring, effective immediacy...She shows a sharp, witty voice, and an ability to tackle a difficult topic with grace."
  • Pittsburgh Post Gazette "Greyson Todd is so utterly human...with the sheer force of her talent, [Garey] makes us want to look. And she makes us laugh. And she helps us understand and feel compassion."
  • David Abrams, Fobbit "This is an important novel, an eye-opener, and, at times, a white-knuckle horror show in its depiction of mental illness."
  • Library Journal, Starred Review "Garey evokes in stark detail the torment and raw suffering of mental illness. A compelling read."
  • Daniel Mason,The Piano Tuner "A racing, vertiginous read, harrowing and heart-breaking and humorous at once. Greyson Todd has a magnetic presence, from which it is extremely difficult to step away. Juliann Garey has written a brilliant novel, allowing us the privilege of travelling--hurtling, really--in the presences of Grey's troubled mind. By doing so, she makes his single, deeply moving story something even greater: a comment on family, and illness, and the complicated tracks that remain within our memory, waiting to be traveled down again."
  • Kirkus Reviews "Garey breathes life into an uncomfortable and often misunderstood subject and creates a riveting experience."
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
A Novel
Juliann Garey
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