Close cookie details

This site uses cookies. Learn more about cookies.

OverDrive would like to use cookies to store information on your computer to improve your user experience at our Website. One of the cookies we use is critical for certain aspects of the site to operate and has already been set. You may delete and block all cookies from this site, but this could affect certain features or services of the site. To find out more about the cookies we use and how to delete them, click here to see our Privacy Policy.

If you do not wish to continue, please click here to exit this site.

Hide notification

  Main Nav
If I Stay
Cover of If I Stay
If I Stay
Heart-wrenchingly raw and heartbreakingly romantic, Gayle Forman’s international bestseller asks the ultimate question: What would you do if you had to choose?
“Beautifully written.”—Entertainment Weekly

“Every moment I spent reading Forman’s masterpiece drew me in more.”—NPR.com
Everything can change in an instant. For Mia, the day started like any other, surrounded by a loving family, an adoring boyfriend, and a bright future filled with music and infinite possibilities. What she never expected is the choice before her now. Caught between life and death, between a happy past and an uncertain future, Mia has to contemplate everything she holds dear and make a choice: to go or to stay. 
Adapted into a major motion picture starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia's story will stay with you for a long, long time.
Heart-wrenchingly raw and heartbreakingly romantic, Gayle Forman’s international bestseller asks the ultimate question: What would you do if you had to choose?
“Beautifully written.”—Entertainment Weekly

“Every moment I spent reading Forman’s masterpiece drew me in more.”—NPR.com
Everything can change in an instant. For Mia, the day started like any other, surrounded by a loving family, an adoring boyfriend, and a bright future filled with music and infinite possibilities. What she never expected is the choice before her now. Caught between life and death, between a happy past and an uncertain future, Mia has to contemplate everything she holds dear and make a choice: to go or to stay. 
Adapted into a major motion picture starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia's story will stay with you for a long, long time.
Available formats-
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB eBook
Languages:-
Copies-
  • Available:
    0
  • Library copies:
    0
Levels-
  • ATOS:
    5.3
  • Lexile:
    830
  • Interest Level:
    UG
  • Text Difficulty:
    4 - 5


 
Awards-
Excerpts-
  • From the book 7:09 A.M.

    Everyone thinks it was because of the snow. And in a way, I suppose that’s true.

    I wake up this morning to a thin blanket of white covering our front lawn. It isn’t even an inch, but in this part of Oregon a slight dusting brings everything to a standstill as the one snowplow in the county gets busy clearing the roads. It is wet water that drops from the sky—and drops and drops and drops—not the frozen kind.

    It is enough snow to cancel school. My little brother, Teddy, lets out a war whoop when Mom’s AM radio announces the closures. “Snow day!” he bellows. “Dad, let’s go make a snowman.”

    My dad smiles and taps on his pipe. He started smoking  one recently as part of this whole 1950s, Father Knows Best retro kick he is on. He also wears bow ties. I am never quite clear on whether all this is sartorial or sardonic—Dad’s way of announcing that he used to be a punker but is now a middle-school English teacher, or if becoming a teacher has actually turned my dad into this genuine throwback. But I like the smell of the pipe tobacco. It is sweet and smoky, and reminds me of winters and woodstoves.

    “You can make a valiant try,” Dad tells Teddy. “But it’s hardly sticking to the roads. Maybe you should consider a snow amoeba.”

    I can tell Dad is happy. Barely an inch of snow means that all the schools in the county are closed, including my high school and the middle school where Dad works, so it’s an unexpected day off for him, too. My mother, who works for a travel agent in town, clicks off the radio and pours herself a second cup of coffee. “Well, if you lot are playing hooky today, no way I’m going to work. It’s simply not right.” She picks up the telephone to call in. When she’s done, she looks at us. “Should I make breakfast?”

    Dad and I guffaw at the same time. Mom makes cereal and toast. Dad’s the cook in the family.

    Pretending not to hear us, she reaches into the cabinet for a box of Bisquick. “Please. How hard can it be? Who wants pancakes?”

    “I do! I do!” Teddy yells. “Can we have chocolate chips in them?”

    “I don’t see why not,” Mom replies.

    “Woo hoo!” Teddy yelps, waving his arms in the air.

    “You have far too much energy for this early in the morning,” I tease. I turn to Mom. “Maybe you shouldn’t let Teddy drink so much coffee.”

    “I’ve switched him to decaf,” Mom volleys back. “He’s just naturally exuberant.”

    “As long as you’re not switching me to decaf,” I say.

    “That would be child abuse,” Dad says.

    Mom hands me a steaming mug and the newspaper.

    “There’s a nice picture of your young man in there,” she says.

    “Really? A picture?”

    “Yep. It’s about the most we’ve seen of him since summer,” Mom says, giving me a sidelong glance with her eyebrow arched, her version of a soul-searching stare.

    “I know,” I say, and then without meaning to, I sigh. Adam’s band, Shooting Star, is on an upward spiral, which, is a great thing—mostly.

    “Ah, fame, wasted on the youth,” Dad says, but he’s smiling. I know he’s excited for Adam. Proud even.

    I leaf through the newspaper to the calendar section. There’s a small blurb about Shooting Star, with an even smaller picture of the four of them, next to a big...

Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    Starred review from March 2, 2009
    The last normal moment that Mia, a talented cellist, can remember is being in the car with her family. Then she is standing outside her body beside their mangled Buick and her parents’ corpses, watching herself and her little brother being tended by paramedics. As she ponders her state (“Am I dead?
    I actually have to ask myself this”), Mia is whisked away to a hospital, where, her body in a coma, she reflects on the past and tries to decide whether to fight to live. Via Mia’s thoughts and flashbacks, Forman (Sisters in Sanity
    ) expertly explores the teenager’s life, her passion for classical music and her strong relationships with her family, friends and boyfriend, Adam. Mia’s singular perspective (which will recall Alice Sebold’s adult novel, The Lovely Bones
    ) also allows for powerful portraits of her friends and family as they cope: “Please don’t die. If you die, there’s going to be one of those cheesy Princess Diana memorials at school,” prays Mia’s friend Kim. “I know you’d hate that kind of thing.” Intensely moving, the novel will force readers to take stock of their lives and the people and things that make them worth living. Ages 14–up.

  • School Library Journal

    Starred review from May 1, 2009
    Gr 9 Up-Forman creates a cast of captivating characters and pulls readers into a compelling story that will cause them to laugh, cry, and question the boundaries of family and love. While out on a drive with her family, 17-year-old Mia is suddenly separated from her body and forced to watch the aftermath of the accident that kills her parents and gravely injures her and her younger brother. Far from supernatural, this shift in perspective will be readily accepted by readers as Mia reminisces about significant events and people in her life while her body lies in a coma. Alternating between the past and the present, she reveals the details and complexities of her relationships with family and friends, including the unlikely romance with her punk-rock boyfriend, Adam. An accomplished musician herself, Mia is torn between pursuing her love for music at Julliard and a future with Adam in Oregon. However, she must first choose between fighting to survive and giving in to the resulting sadness and despair over all she has lost. Readers will find themselves engrossed in Mia's struggles and will race to the satisfying yet realistic conclusion. Teens will identify with Mia's honest discussion of her own insecurities and doubts. Both brutal and beautiful, this thought-provoking story will stay with readers long after the last page is turned."Lynn Rashid, Marriotts Ridge High School, Marriottsville, MD"

    Copyright 2009 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Library Journal

    June 22, 2009
    The Lovely Bones meets It's a Wonderful Life. Mia has a big decision to make. One snowy day, her family is killed in a catastrophic accident, while she is thrown from the car and left in a coma. Now it's up to her. Should she stay here or move on, leaving the pain and struggle of life as an orphan? Mia's spirit hovers in the critical care unit as she sorts through her feelings about her family, her music, her boyfriend, and her best friend, Kim. Death would mean the end of hard decisions but also the end of love. Why It Is for Us: Mia's decision is not an easy one. If she moves on, she will join her loving family in whatever comes after but will miss out on life. If she stays, there's so much to enjoy, but she'll face grief and an uncertain future. This honest yet affirming story confronts the truth that all life is a struggle. Every reader who's ever wanted to avoid a painful decision will be compelled by the choice Mia must make.-Angelina Benedetti, King Cty. Lib. Syst., WA

    Copyright 2009 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Booklist

    Starred review from December 15, 2008
    Grades 10-1 *Starred Review* Forman (Sisters in Sanity, 2007) provides a compelling and highly textured account of the brutal 24 hours that may be 17-year-old Mias last. Her day starts with a drive, with her loving and moderately punk parents and her effervescent little brother, to a bookstore. A collision with another vehicle leaves Mias parents dead. The narrative is told in a robust first-person voice, with flashbacks, flash-forwards, and out-of-body reports on her immediate surroundings as Mia is transported, in grave condition, to the hospital. The story then follows the medical efforts to save her life, extended family and friends efforts to provide emotional care, and Mias coming to terms with what has happened and what might still await her. Mia, a gifted cellist, finds support from her alt-rock boyfriend and a best friend whose own mother is a hysteric. Mias recounting of this critical day is laced with insight, good humor, and wonder, allowing the reader to enter the scene as fully as Mia herself seems to have, at least for now, left her broken body. More developed and satisfying than a Lurlene McDaniel drama, Mias story will engage readers willing to suspend their disbelief that the future can be seen in the present.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2008, American Library Association.)

  • The Horn Book

    July 1, 2009
    A car accident leaves seventeen-year-old Mia in a coma, her parents and brother dead. She hovers between life and death, watching surgeons bustle around her comatose body. The story moves easily between the present vigil and Mia's past as she considers the unbearable pain of living with so much loss. The stakes are poignantly conveyed through Mia's vivid memories.

    (Copyright 2009 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

  • The Horn Book

    July 1, 2009
    What begins as the gift of a rare snow day in Portland, Oregon, turns suddenly into nightmare. Seventeen-year-old Mia drives off with her family on the unexpected holiday. A sudden explosion of metal, and Mia is looking at her dead parents sprawled on the asphalt, her little brother nowhere to be found. An ambulance arrives to take Mia's body, bristling with tubes, to a trauma unit, and incorporeal Mia rides along. Distant kin to the dead narrators of The Lovely Bones et al., Mia hovers somewhere between life and death, watching surgeons bustle around her comatose body. An empathetic nurse clues Mia in that "she's running the show" -- that the choice to live or die belongs to Mia. Forman's one-sitting page-turner moves easily between the present vigil and Mia's past as she considers the ultimate choice. A talented classical cellist, Mia is deeply in love with punk-rock singer Adam, who has more in common musically with Mia's formerly punk, effortlessly cool parents. As Mia holds out for Adam's arrival at the hospital and considers the unbearable pain of living with so much loss, her best friend Kim reminds her that she does have family -- all the relatives and friends out there pulling for her. Apart from a heavy-handed clunk or two ("I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard"), the stakes are poignantly conveyed through Mia's vivid memories of a rich, rewarding life.

    (Copyright 2009 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

Title Information+
  • Publisher
    Penguin Young Readers Group
  • OverDrive Read
    Release date:
  • EPUB eBook
    Release date:
Digital Rights Information+
  • Copyright Protection (DRM) required by the Publisher may be applied to this title to limit or prohibit printing or copying. File sharing or redistribution is prohibited. Your rights to access this material expire at the end of the lending period. Please see Important Notice about Copyrighted Materials for terms applicable to this content.

Status bar:

You've reached your checkout limit.

Visit your Checkouts page to manage your titles.

Close

You already have this title checked out.

Want to go to your Checkouts?

Close

Recommendation Limit Reached.

You've reached the maximum number of titles you can recommend at this time. You can recommend up to 0 titles every 0 day(s).

Close

Sign in to recommend this title.

Recommend your library consider adding this title to the Digital Collection.

Close

Enhanced Details

Close
Close

Limited availability

Availability can change throughout the month based on the library's budget.

is available for days.

Once playback starts, you have hours to view the title.

Close

Permissions

Close

The OverDrive Read format of this eBook has professional narration that plays while you read in your browser. Learn more here.

Close

Holds

Total holds:


Close

Restricted

Some format options have been disabled. You may see additional download options outside of this network.

Close

MP3 audiobooks are only supported on macOS 10.6 (Snow Leopard) through 10.14 (Mojave). Learn more about MP3 audiobook support on Macs.

Close

Please update to the latest version of the OverDrive app to stream videos.

Close

Device Compatibility Notice

The OverDrive app is required for this format on your current device.

Close

Bahrain, Egypt, Hong Kong, Iraq, Israel, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Mauritania, Morocco, Oman, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, the Sudan, the Syrian Arab Republic, Tunisia, Turkey, the United Arab Emirates, and Yemen

Close

You've reached your library's checkout limit for digital titles.

To make room for more checkouts, you may be able to return titles from your Checkouts page.

Close

Excessive Checkout Limit Reached.

There have been too many titles checked out and returned by your account within a short period of time.

Try again in several days. If you are still not able to check out titles after 7 days, please contact Support.

Close

You have already checked out this title. To access it, return to your Checkouts page.

Close

This title is not available for your card type. If you think this is an error contact support.

Close

An unexpected error has occurred.

If this problem persists, please contact support.

Close

Close

NOTE: Barnes and Noble® may change this list of devices at any time.

Close
Buy it now
and help our library WIN!
If I Stay
If I Stay
Gayle Forman
Choose a retail partner below to buy this title for yourself.
A portion of this purchase goes to support your library.
Close
Close

There are no copies of this issue left to borrow. Please try to borrow this title again when a new issue is released.

Close
Barnes & Noble Sign In |   Sign In

You will be prompted to sign into your library account on the next page.

If this is your first time selecting “Send to NOOK,” you will then be taken to a Barnes & Noble page to sign into (or create) your NOOK account. You should only have to sign into your NOOK account once to link it to your library account. After this one-time step, periodicals will be automatically sent to your NOOK account when you select "Send to NOOK."

The first time you select “Send to NOOK,” you will be taken to a Barnes & Noble page to sign into (or create) your NOOK account. You should only have to sign into your NOOK account once to link it to your library account. After this one-time step, periodicals will be automatically sent to your NOOK account when you select "Send to NOOK."

You can read periodicals on any NOOK tablet or in the free NOOK reading app for iOS, Android or Windows 8.

Accept to ContinueCancel